We’re so delighted

To the intent,

We wish to share

In your blessed event.

Now there’s nothing sweeter

Than baby to be;

And we certainly hope

It’s a He or a She.

But regardless of whether

It’s a girl or a boy,

It will always be

Your bundle of joy.

So we’re pleased to tell you

In so many ways,

We hope your future

Brings exciting days!

We feel we must warn you

What lies in store;

Besides battles and bills,

There are surprises galore!

Baby will sleep to cradle chimes.

You will read from nursery rhymes.

There’ll be diapers, doctors, dolls and dishes;

Measles, mumps, frogs and fishes.

Bruises and scratches,

Clothes that need patches;

Screams and shouts,

Then suddenly — the pouts.

Better take it from us Cons

And experienced Pros;

They’ll walk on your heart,

And step on your toes.

Now beware of the busy

Little brother or sis;

When all is quiet,

Something is amiss!

You’ll repeat over and over,

You mustn’t do that;

Then you’ll wonder why

You even wanted the brat.

But no matter what

He has said or done;

You’ll be the first to proclaim,

He’s still number one.

Play days, school days –

DuPont, you know –

We’ll feed him well;

You’ll watch him grow.

Little league, football,

All sorts of sports;

Skating, swimming,

And tennis courts.

Girlfriends, boyfriends,

Cokes and Big Macs;

Then comes the learning,

Of the life of facts.

He’ll want a car or motorbike;

New clothes, new shoes, and such like.

Remember to include the monetary rate,

To finance those late great dates.

Alas, the diploma has been earned;

For this you have prayed and yearned.

But all is not over yet!

There’s the ‘call of the wild’;

He’s no longer a child.

And wedlock prevails, you can bet.

Tears of sadness, tears of joy;

You’ll think you’ve lost that girl or boy.

Cheer up, my friend, this isn’t the end.

It’s another beginning for you.

Just wait ‘til they say,

“There’s a baby on the way!”

And you’ll live your life anew.

These are memories that will linger and last;

You’ll treasure them all, reliving the past.

By LWB